Indecisive..

The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe weve lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them weve found each other. And maybe each time, weve been forced aparrt for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come. 

When i look at you, I see your beauty and grace and know they have grown stronger with every life you have lived. And I know I have spent every life before this one searching for you. Not someone like you, but you, for your soul and mine must always ccome together. And then, for a reason neither of us understands, weve been forced to say goodbye. 

I would love to tell you that everything will work out for us, and I promise to do all i can to make sure it does. But if we never meet again and this is truly goodbye, I know we will see each other again in another life. We will find each other again, and maybe the stars will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that time, but for all the times weve had before. 

I dont understand how he could do this to me. Say he loves me, and then pushes me away. My heart is broken and i cant seem to be able to fix it. I love him, I know i do, and i thought he loved me too. How do you just go on with your life? I dont understand. I cant stop crying. I cant have fun.. Everything makes me think of him. When i try to talk to him, he doesnt reply. When i look at him, he doesnt look back. I hate myself right now. I mustve done something wrong, but i dont know what. I feel like shit. It kills me to know that we had something so special and now its gone. It kills me to know that its hurting me so much, but yet it doesnt hurt him one bit. Obviously he didnt know what love meant when he said it to me. I had a connection with him that wont just go away. Everyone tells me to act like nothing is bothering me when im around him, but i dont think they realize how hard that is. Its killing me inside. I dont even want to be here right now. Everytime i hear or see him, i feel like bursting out into tears. I want to be held right now, but there is no one there to hold me. Hes the only one that i want. How can i start dating again? I dont want anyone else but him. I dont see why God would do this to me. Why would he put something so great in my life and then just take it away? I thought God brought him here for a reason. but now i dont see what that reason could be. I miss him so much. I havent ever wanted anything as much as i want him right now. I want to go back to when everything was ok. When he would hold my hand and make fun of the way i said oh mayan. I want him to tease me and then kiss me when i played angry at him. I want him to hold me and tell me he loves me and will never let me go. I want him to love me again. 

Footprints in the sand

 Last night I had a dream.  I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.  Across the sky flashed scenes from my life.  For each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonged to me, the other to the Lord.

After the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand.  I noticed that at many times along the path of my life, especially at the very lowest and saddest times, there was only one set of footprints.

   This really troubled me, so I asked the Lord about it.  “Lord, you said  once I decided to follow you, You’d walk with me all the way.  But I noticed that during the saddest and most troublesome times of my life, there was only one set of footprints.  I don’t understand why, when I needed You the most, You would leave me.”

   The Lord replied, “My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you.  During your times of suffering, when you could see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you.”

God said No

I asked God to give me happiness. God said no. I give you blessings, happiness is up to you; 

I asked God to spare me pain. God said no. Suffering draws you apart from worldly cares and brings you closer to me;

I asked God for all things that I might enjoy life. God said no. I will give you life, so that you may enjoy all things. 

Hate seeing her hurt like this..

Why when a man cheats do we still long for him to change
Realize how wrong he was, and fall in love with us again?